Want a minute-by-minute recap of Outlander Season 3 episode 7, “Crème De Menthe?” We give all the details…
Do you find yourself gabbing obsessively about Outlander to your friends and family? Wishing your Sunday nights included a living room full of people with whom to watch, discuss, comment, cheers, jeers and well, experience alllllll the feels? Dinna fash, Obsessenach—you are not alone.
Good news—we can
get new family and friends pour ourselves a dram and, through the magic of technology, enjoy it together! As we brought to you during Season 2, we’ll be LIVE blogging all the episodes in Season 3. Like the Outlander Cast podcast, it will be SPOILER FREE for non-book readers.
Not into distractions during your visit to the World of Outlander? That’s okay! Our LIVE blogs double as episodic recaps to serve as a trusty viewing companion on your second, third and umpteenth re-watches (hey, we get it).
So get all your post-18th Century gadgets ready and settle in, because the best things in life should be shared with a buddy. Hi, buddy.
Now let the show begin…[8:02 p.m.] Get the hose, Chief. Foreshadowing to an actual fire or what will be needed for us according to the episode content warning? ¯\_(?)_/¯ [8:03 p.m.] This poor lass. She’s not been back but 24 hours and is already wrestling for safety in a half-dressed state… again. Like the Staples red button, well that was easy. [8:04 p.m.] Seriously, she’s taking the Hippocratic oath now!?! [8:05 p.m.] I’m having trouble fathoming how her struggle sounded uniquely different to the acoustics of everyday shenanigans in a brothel, enough to warrant them coming to check on her. [8:06 p.m.] Oh please let Dorcas be the “discreet one.” After all, she knows all about the restorative properties of hot water. For your lady bits, or a hematoma, apparently. Score one for Dorcas. [8:07 p.m.] Madame Jeanne is completely unflappable in this whole mess, as if this sort of scenario comes routinely with running a brothel. I might like this lady after all. [8:08 p.m.] “Stubborn as always.” Jamie, recalling all that comes with loving a woman like Claire. [8:09 p.m.] I love that she’s made it a priority to holster up those bubbies as part of her pre-op regimen. [8:10 p.m.] King of Men is running these lads through an 18th century CrossFit WOD with all that cask rolling and deadlifting. Claire, I think I have your answer on how he got that late-40s physique. [8:12 p.m.] The roles of Bartles & Jaymes will now be played by Fergus and Young Ian. I’ll buy whatever this adorable duo is hocking. #IAmAMarketersDream [8:13 p.m.] “Spirited and incredibly brave…” Fergus recalling “Milady” with vivid, warm accuracy. It’s uncanny how on the nose Cesar Domboy channels Romann Berrux’s mannerisms and portrayal of Fergus. [8:14 p.m.] Willoughby experiencing baptism by fire into life with Honorable Wife, and not minding one little bit. He’s drawn to Claire because of his loyalty to Jamie, but also because she looks at him like he’s an equal, something I imagine was severely lacking during this day and age. [8:15 p.m.] I chose the wroooong time to sip red wine. And all these years I convinced myself that the sound of a dental drill was the worst noise ever. Nope, it’s THIS. [8:16 p.m.] I’m opting to just ignore the fact that this incredibly rudimentary surgery is taking place on that bed – the bed – that saw a lot of candlelit magic time just a few hours earlier. Talk about a cold shower. [8:18 p.m.] “I’ll not grieve for the man who tried killing my wife” – probably the safest thing Jamie could say in the moment after pulling the short straw on the receiving end of Claire’s professional disappointment and misdirected anger. [8:19 p.m.] In the afterglow of the reunion, Claire’s rightfully second-guessing what it all means, how she will retain her essence and found purpose in this old-but-new world. This is the very real underbelly to all that longing and pillow talk, and we’re forced to experience it for her, with her. [8:20 p.m.] Caves, prisons, stables, brothels – my mind rattles through them all as Jamie declares that he’s finally been cast out of his 20-year darkness thanks to the sun that streamed in with Claire upon her return through the stones and into his life. [8:21 p.m.] Jamie and Claire will soon resort to managing their marriage through Outlook to keep their individual appointments straight. It works for the hubs and me. [8:22 p.m.] Yes please, to all this time watching the budding brotherhood between Fergus and Young Ian. These two are vying for their place as the baby versions of Angus and Rupert, only with more innocent charm. For now. [8:23 p.m.] “Menage a tois… two women and one moi.” I guess “for now” was short-lived. Since Fergus was living at Lallybroch at age 15, I have some questions about the key players in said extracurricular activities. Perhaps I might have the chance to have them all answered in a forthcoming “Dear Fergus” sex help column. [8:24 p.m.] Fergus is every child star who insisted on playing the “I’m all grown up now card” by flaunting their sexploitations on TMZ. *cough Miley Cyrus cough* [8:25 p.m.] John Bell has stolen my heart as Young Ian already with his bumbling, youthful charm. Kudos on the perfect casting yet again, Suzanne Smith! [8:26 p.m.] Can someone come cuddle me? This looney lady is bound to give me nightmares later. Also, I guess TV Archie has chosen a less biblical calling than book Archie. [8:28 p.m.] Hold up, after that very lengthy description of sister Margaret’s garden variety of batshit crazy, all she needs is a couple fresh papayas? [8:30 p.m.] Like uncle, like nephew. Apparently, the collective sexual consortium of Murtagh, Rupert, Ned and Fergus forgot the fundamentals when offering a crash course to virginal Fraser men. Side note: “Horses and Whooores – A Sexual How-to by Furry Highlanders” has a nice ring to it, eh? [8:31 p.m.] Hiding a body in the crème de menthe casks because no one will find it – is that like hiding it in a holiday fruit cake? [8:32 p.m.] “Dinna fash, Sassenach. ‘Twas no more than a wee bit of chaos. Nothing we haven’t seen before.” – Jamie, summing up their relationship succinctly. [8:33 p.m.] At Claire’s request to find more suitable accommodations, I’m going to implore you to read/re-read Nikki’s latest post on why Jamie appeared visibly stressed upon Claire’s return. #NailedIt [8:34 p.m.] “A terrible misunderstanding” is what I’d call forgetting to pick up your kid from soccer practice or grab milk on the way home, thinking your spouse was handling. Living a half-life in misery for 20 years while longing for the love of your life under the false assumption he was dead? I’d label that something a tad stronger. [8:35 p.m.] Has Lallybroch life with Jenny and all the bairns forced Ian to age in dog years? He cruised up on 20 years, then blew miles past it. [8:36 p.m.] Terrible misunderstanding is also not what I’d call refraining from telling your long-lost wife about any – ahem – conniving skeletons in your closet. [8:37 p.m.] You always remember your first time… especially when it’s in backroom of your uncle’s shop and that deflowering glory is thwarted by an intruder Snaping around. [8:38 p.m.] Noooo, not that gorgeous Jon Gary Steele print shop! We’ve not had enough time with you yet. [8:39 p.m.] This whole exchange regarding Jamie’s ease at lying to Ian brings Diana Gabaldon’s Voyager text fresh to mind: “Sassenach, will ye take me – and risk the man that I am, for the sake of the man ye knew?” [8:41 p.m.] “I didn’t realize lies had shades.” Like 50 of them, Jamie. At minimum. I’m estimating you’re paint-stroking about 49 of them with your current lie of omission. [8:42 p.m.] Oh JHRC, we’re still on that bikini? That bikini has become Jamie’s scapegoat for airing all his grievances and insecurities about Claire’s life without him, and now with. Enough, Soldier. [8:43 p.m.] Please tell me that we’ll return to extinguishing this fire after the one in Carfax Close. Because we’re getting to conversation of substance that needs time to breathe. [8:44 p.m.] Caped crusader, my arse, JAMIE AND HIS MAN SHAWL swooping in for the save! And salvaging his treasured portrait of Willie in the process. [8:45 p.m.] I love that he’s still Young Ian even when he’s the only Ian around. Just in case Fergus might be confused that it’s Big Ian fumbling around in the print shop on a late-night booty call. [8:46 p.m.] We likened the beauty of Jon Gary Steele’s print shop set to a church last week. So, this just feels sacrilegious. [8:47 p.m.] Poor Young Ian, blue balls and black lung – all in the same night. [8:48 p.m.] Have I mentioned the high levels of relief I have at TV Willoughby versus his book characterization? Thank you, production team and actor Gary Young for that one. [8:49 p.m.] I’m so ready for this overdrawn she doesn’t know we know she knows he knows you know to be over. Out with it already. I’m exhausted, but partially relieved that at least the word “wife” emerged. [8:50 p.m.] For those keeping score for Jamie at home – 36 hours in, print shop in ashes, squabbling with his wife (not that wife, his other wife) and likely in need of a less busty place to call home. Honeymoon over already?
Welp, that was an episode. In its most literal definition, that is. Because while it wasn’t my favorite, I’ll take it and try not to pass out from anticipatory anxiety caused by the realization that we are more than halfway through this season. Gulp.
I’ve now decided that the title card fire hose signified the cooling off of the immense crescendo of the first six episodes. We could only stand the heat for so long and were bound to hit a forced plateau to catch our breath, and that’s what this felt like – a recovery lap after a hard-run race (forgive the retired runner in me; everything breaks down to a sports metaphor). It reminds me of what an immense deal sweeps periods used to be for broadcast TV, before the advent of year-round and digital/streaming programming. Shows would hoard their best, most pivotal episodes and drop them when ratings meant the most – November, February and May. As a viewer, you’d note a remarkable drop-off from one week to the next once the pressure cooker of sweeps ceased and it felt anticlimactic. All that to say, every now and again, you just need a good plot development episode that doesn’t elicit tears or anxiety or goosebumps; it just serves a functional purpose. It’s not unlike real life, if you think about it.
I could, however, have done without the convenient and contrived Frank-drop in Jamie and Claire’s brothel argument, but understand the intention of the creative liberties taken in the adaptation. When the candles burned down on a well-earned reunion, we were left in the light of a normal day – one in which Jamie and Claire must deal with repairing and understanding everything about themselves as individuals and together outside of their physical connection. It’s as if we’re watching them visibly process, “yes, I choose you – then and now. Without a question. But it’s going to take time to understand implicitly what that choice means as a whole.” For us too, lovebirds. For us too.
Hey, when all else fails, hop back on that bike and give it another spin. We know you speak that language together fluently and flawlessly, no helmets needed.
Thank you, friends, as always for joining us. If you’ve missed any of our episode recaps, you can catch up with them here:
Episode 3.01: “The Battle Joined“
Episode 3.02: “Surrender“
Episode 3.03: “All Debts Paid“
Episode 3.04: “Of Lost Things“
Episode 3.05: “Freedom & Whisky“
Episode 3.06: “A. Malcolm“